Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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