He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
