The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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