If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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