We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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