It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
