I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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