Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
im on a boat
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