sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
