hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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