the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
