I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
