i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
