a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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