3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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