He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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