I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
