so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My life is pants optional.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
