I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
