Cold hands, warm shart.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am naked and annoyed.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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