We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
