Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
