so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize