The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize