And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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