Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
