Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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