your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
