: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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