I think my vagina is haunted
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize