quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
