wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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