This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
