Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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