Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
