"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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