Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
