the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
