And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
