never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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