if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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