She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
