I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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