Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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