how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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