Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize