i can't believe i had my finger in that
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
