i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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