Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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