so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
