after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
