he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my phone needs a breathalizer
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My cat gives me a boner
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize