I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
