in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
