his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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