Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
