He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize