Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
