I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Who died my cat blue again?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
