bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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