Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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