her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
